What people in their 40s wish they'd known at 25

I was reading through some Reddit threads the other day — you know the ones, where people ask “what do you wish you’d known at 25?” — and I found myself nodding along to a lot of it. There’s something oddly comforting about reading advice from people who actually lived through the decade you’re currently in. Not theorists, not podcasters, just regular folks who figured some stuff out the hard way. ...

29 September 2025 · Shafiq Alibhai

The one thing that changed how I negotiate

I used to think negotiation was about persuasion. About having the right words, the right tone, the right strategy. Turns out I was missing the whole point. There’s a concept from negotiation theory called BATNA — Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. It sounds academic, but it’s actually the single most practical thing you can know before walking into any discussion where two people want different things. Your BATNA is what you’d actually do if the talks fall apart. Not what you hope for. Not what sounds good in your head. What you’d realistically do tomorrow morning when nothing has been agreed. ...

11 March 2024 · Shafiq Alibhai

Affirmations that actually helped me

I started doing affirmations roughly two years ago, after a particularly rough patch left me convinced I was fundamentally broken. Not in the dramatic sense – just that quiet, persistent voice in the back of my head telling me I wasn’t quite enough. You know the one. The first time I tried it, I felt like an absolute idiot. Standing in front of the mirror, saying “I am worthy” out loud, while my brain screamed bullshit. I lasted about forty-five seconds before giving up. ...

7 March 2024 · Shafiq Alibhai

How I stopped participating in gossip

I used to gossip. Not the dramatic, scheming kind — just the everyday variety. The “can you believe what so-and-so did” chatter that happens in offices, group chats, and among friends. It felt harmless enough. Social bonding, right? Then I realised something uncomfortable: the people who gossip the most are usually the same people who will gossip about you the moment you leave the room. Once I noticed that pattern, I couldn’t unsee it. And honestly, it made me tired. ...

5 March 2024 · Shafiq Alibhai

Reducing negativity in personal and professional life

Some things that help keep negativity at bay: Notice when you’re spiralling. Naming the pattern breaks it. Set boundaries with people who consistently drain you. Limit social media. Curate your feeds so they’re not just outrage and comparison. Take walks. Physical movement changes mental state. Keep a gratitude list. Three things a day is enough. Learn to say no without over-explaining. Don’t participate in gossip. Change the subject or leave the room. Forgive yourself for mistakes. You’ll make more of them. Get enough sleep. Everything feels worse when you’re tired. Do one thing well each day instead of doing ten things poorly. Journal when your head is noisy. Getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper helps. Surround yourself with people who challenge you constructively, not ones who just agree with everything. Accept that some things are out of your control. Focus on what you can influence. Take breaks. Regular ones, not just when you’re burning out. Declutter your workspace. Physical mess feeds mental mess.

4 March 2024 · Shafiq Alibhai

What is a vision board

A vision board is a collage of images and words that represent what you want to achieve. The idea is that seeing your goals visually keeps them in focus and motivates action. You can make one physically with printed images and a pinboard, or digitally with tools like Canva or Pinterest. It works for short-term targets as well as longer aspirations. Sources: Oxford Dictionaries: http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/vision_board Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202103/what-is-vision-board-and-why-make-one

6 May 2023 · Shafiq Alibhai

Inner child therapy

Inner child therapy works from the idea that parts of us retain the emotions, memories, and needs from childhood. If those needs went unmet, they can shape how we think and behave as adults. The therapy aims to identify those old wounds, give them space to be expressed, and respond to them with the compassion they didn’t receive originally. Techniques include guided imagery, journaling, letter writing to your younger self, and dialogue exercises. ...

3 May 2023 · Shafiq Alibhai